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And three, you’re hunting food, fighting savages, and, on many occasions, running for dear life. Two, you’re forging weapons, crafting armor, and building shelter. One, you’re cutting down trees, chopping rocks, and picking plants. Though in all actuality, I’ll probably have to come back to it.Ĭonan Exiles’ premise is simple: collect, craft, kill. They’re out there, they’re uncircumcised, and there’s a slider on the character creation screen that makes them longer or shorter. Well, about the penises: Conan Exiles has penises. It’s DayZ with barbarians, ARK minus the Dino Riders shtick, or Rust without the penises. Think Minecraft, but with the aforementioned cannibalism and literal self-sacrifice. Who am I to judge?Ĭonan Exiles is an open-world survival game. Either way, I’m harvesting my own dead body for uncooked food and crafting materials. Sadly, it's not a poison antidote to the food poisoning I got from consuming human flesh.
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See? At least something good came out of it that time. On that altar, with my previous corpse’s heart, I crafted a poison antidote. I ran back to home base and placed my heart on the altar to Set, a snake god in Conan’s world. And then I carved my former heart out of my former chest with a ceremonial knife. I ran back to where that crocodile/alligator had jumped me. I’d added a sundeck here, a Sepulchre of Set there. They snarl so loud! And so, naturally, I died, then respawned back at my fiber roll, back at good ol’ home base. So, with that in mind, I ran out past my comfort zone and found a 15-foot crocodile. This time, however, I’d learned my lesson. There was another time that played out in a similar fashion. I found my corpse, looted my dead body, chopped up the rest of old dead me, collected my decaying flesh, ate my own cold dead remains-and got food poisoning from consuming uncooked me. I retraced my steps, running back to where those barbarians had jumped me. So, naturally, I died, then respawned back at my fiber bedroll, my spawn point, back at home base. One of my arms ended up over here, one of my legs over there. Though I was crouching in the underbrush, they came after me. One swung a stone axe, the other swung a stone pick. There was that time I was attacked by a couple barbarians staring into a campfire. I’ve witnessed-and partaken in-more than one horrifying scenario in Conan Exiles.